I hate open letters don't you? They seem a little smug and a little patronising and if you're already feeling patronised by my opening sentence well that is nothing compared to the arguments being foisted on us all from both sides in the Brexit debate. We are told by the Brexit crowd that if we Remain we will have our NHS privatised or that we'll be overrun by billions of Muslamic jihadists intent on enslaving us under Sharia Law or even - a new one on me today - be dragged into a third world war. Conversely, Remainians have argued that if we Leave our economy will collapse, Scotland will quit the UK, that we will be eaten by giant jelly fish, that our babies will be privatised and that our farming industry will cease to exist and be over-run with wolves.
I exaggerate of course. But not by that much. Project Fear works both ways.
Disclaimer: I'm for Remain and the reason for that is simple. I believe in Unions. I believe that we work better in common enterprise with our friends and neighbours. I believe in the Union of Great Britain and the European Union for exactly the same reasons. Both have given us peace, prosperity, security and far more opportunity than if we had stayed on the fringes of things staring at our navels. Unions work. We didn't win WW2 or WW1 alone - we won them in partnership with our allies. The United States is a Union. They haven't done badly, have they?
Anyway, those arguments are all for another day, because when it boils down to it, many undecided voters will probably make their judgements for good or bad based on nothing more than on who backs which side. So, shall we take a look?
The Remain camp is, I regret to say, a little worthy and dull. A man who used to run Marks and Spencer, The Bank of England, The Treasury, The IMF, OECD, David Cameron, the Labour party, the Lib Dems, Greens, all our key allies, NATO, The US President, The US State department, the British Military Top Brass, Peter Mandelson and Emma Thompson have all fairly unanimously argued that leaving the EU would damage our global reputation and economy. These guys might well be among the most important institutions (and Emma Thompson is undeniably a key UK institution) affecting our nation and its security but they're putting the case in fairly beige terms and what Stay lacks is sex appeal and colour.
Not an accusation that could be levelled at the so-called Brexiteers. Leave is like a psychedelic smorgasbord of talents. Sure, there is the fairly overwhelming support for it in the mainstream media. The Daily Mail, The Sun, The Times and The Express and Telegraph are all clearly Leave or Leave curious but for every dull Simon Heffer article it also offers some of the most colourful, eccentric and yes enigmatic folks in public life: Boris Johnson, Winston Mckenzie, potty Kate Hoey, Michael Gove (OK not Michael Gove), the disgraced former Defence Minister Liam Fox and serial idiot Gorgeous George Galloway. Oh yes and that nice Mr Farage.
If "The Brexiteers" was a 1970s British sex romp comedy, you might even pop along and watch it. I don't particularly like those people and would question Johnson's motives in particular, but they are not wholly unsavoury characters and I can and do understand their appeal. But they're not all mad swivel eyed loons.
Oh yes, that brings me to the mad swivel eyed loons.
If "The Brexiteers" was a 1970s British sex romp comedy, you might even pop along and watch it. I don't particularly like those people and would question Johnson's motives in particular, but they are not wholly unsavoury characters and I can and do understand their appeal. But they're not all mad swivel eyed loons.
Oh yes, that brings me to the mad swivel eyed loons.
Both sides have them, but Leave has them in such abundance that there's practically a two for one offer going on. Where to start? The Neo-Nazi Britain First that spends much of its time co-opting the memory of the murdered soldier Lee Rigby, despite his family pleading with them not to. Or the BNP. Remember them? Or that lovely Marine Le Pen and her Front National party. Or those delightful rape apologists at The Socialist Workers Party. Or the EDL. Or the sane and rational David Icke - who wants to quit the Illuminati Bilderberg led EU and have British lizards running our affairs instead. Or The English Nationalists. Or Greece's thuggish Golden Dawn. And then - most worryingly of all, in my opinion at least, Vladimir Putin and his considerable propaganda machine. Leave campaigner and part time cat George Galloway is in fact a paid employee of the Russian State and thus never criticises it. Why does Mr Putin want Brexit? Simple. Because a stable and successful EU is perceived as a threat to his muscle flexing and regional ambitions. He would like nothing more than the collapse of Europe. Brexit would do Putin a favour.
And finally and most interestingly of all - there are the other Brexiteers - lurking in the shadows. The ones who you have probably never heard of. The rich boys and free marketeers - the real engines behind this referendum. Chief amongst these is the mysterious "Taxpayers Alliance". An anti-NHS, anti government, anti minimum wage and workers rights, low tax super rich 'campaigning group' of right wing entrepreneurs funded by billionaire Monaco dwelling, Times Rich List bothering Peter Cruddas. Why would a super rich individual who spends most of his time in Monte Carlo and Antibes be concerned about "British sovereignty?" Curious. Vote Leave's Director Matthew Elliott is the former head of this group and if you are a rich entrepreneur with off shore accounts and a palace on the Riviera, you might, quite rightly agree with their agenda. If you are not, then frankly these people are no more your friends than Vladimir Putin or Marine Le Pen - but worryingly - and it does genuinely worry me - most people who plan to vote Brexit are blissfully unaware of the people behind it. The agenda is far from transparent.
In the Art of War, Sun Tzu writes that "if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in battle." I would add that as the 23rd of June approaches, it is equally important to "know your friends."
